One of the craziest things about being morbidly obese most of my life is the weird reactions I have around food. Today, my sister called to tell me that they just upgraded our suite to the boutique part of the hotel which includes all of these great perks like a free breakfast buffet, snacks all day, cocktail hour and a soup, sandwich and salad bar. Whoa! Now that is exciting… NEVER MIND the private pool, butler service and nicer room… I’m fixated on the free food. What the heck?
It is literally crazy that my reaction instantly goes into survival thinking about how I’m going to enjoy all that food, and how am I going to eat all of it if I have to stick to my calorie budget? You’d think I grew up poor and starving in the Depression era. Mention the word “buffet” and I run to the edge of the crazy cliff and almost jump over. Almost.
Okay, breakfast buffets ARE amazing… however, I’ve been to hundreds in my life and this is NOT the last breakfast buffet on the planet Earth. It took me a couple hours to get my thinking back in check and re-anchor myself in who I’m committed to being, rather than that fat auto pilot inside me.
Retraining your brain and interupting your thinking patterns are the key to being successful in any area in which you are failing in your life. You have to BE AWAKE in order to distinguish all of these BS conversations that you are convincing yourself are true… but they are NOT. No food is going to taste as good as how I feel when I hit 199 pounds for the first time since I was 12. Yes, sometimes transformation is painful. And yes, it takes a lot of work and intentionality. But, like I said a couple days ago, I’M WORTH IT.