This journey is so HARD! I’m literally fighting for my life in this 100 days, and, honestly, for every other day of my life following this project. These internal battles, my food issues, have been plaguing me for decades. Let’s face it, you don’t get to weigh over 350 pounds just because you like to eat. My gluttonous behavior has protected me for years; from feelings, from pain, from all sorts of things that I’m finally beginning to discover. The food has literally pushed down the feelings so I don’t have to be present to them.
My damaging food behaviors are like a wide well-worn path through my life. They are familiar and easy to head down before I even realize it. It’s these new behaviors that take effort; more like winding my way through a jungle, beating down a new walkway. It takes effort and it is hard sometimes. But no matter how I’m feeling, I know that my job is to keep moving ahead, one step at a time, until that path is as well carved out as the other one.