Well, this goes to show you how quickly things can change, right? I was killing it. Just a few days ago my posts were titled “Winning” and “Everything You Need is Right Here.” But then I made one bad decision that led to me just checking out for awhile, and even my videos suffered. I just DIDN’T. WANT. TO. You know what the problem with that is? If I did only want I WANTED to, I’d weigh at least 800 pounds and I’d be in my pajamas binging on ice cream, Doritos and Netflix. I would cut myself off from the world because everything is just too much trouble. This is what my auto pilot gets me: worse than nothing.
This whole episode is just more practice for me. I failed and there is a rich lesson in it for me. I now know that ONE BAD DECISION can literally kick off a domino effect that will lead me into places I do NOT want to go. This is why I have to be intentional. This is why I am practicing and working so hard during this 100 days to put guardrails up around me… like: no popcorn, no aspartame, no drinking, no drive-thru. Now I will add another: no secret eating, no eating alone (like I’m sneaking.) The fact that I wasn’t doing videos was more a result of me not wanting to tell the truth than it was that it was too much work and I was tired. But, as you know, I am a master at deceiving myself and justifying literally ANYTHING.
Routines are the key to my success. It is those routines that have me PRACTICE being a different person than my auto pilot provides. Without those routines, it is almost as if I lull myself into this comfort zone where I don’t manage any of my destructive behaviors.
My auto pilot’s name is “I don’t want to.” Any time that I am feeling this way, any time that I stop doing my routines, I know now that the future me is not in charge and that is NOT going to help me get to my goals.
For today, I will track everything that goes in my mouth, do my daily routines and put up a new guardrail to help me stay on the right path.